Healing my brokenness

Walking through this maze called life I've hit a lot of Brick Walls ; some were a direct result of some things I've done and others just popped up because that's the way life is. Most recently I've dealt with the loss of one of my favorite Great-Aunts, my grandmother having her leg amputated, and a horrible migraine flare-up; but I am still here pushing through each and every obstacle! Don't get me wrong there have been some tears shed and a few days where I've wanted to throw in the towel, but I know that is not the answer. I know God did not bring me this far to leave me and I trust that better days are coming! My family and myself will continue to tear down each and every one of these walls that keep trying to hold us back because we were made for this. God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers and as long as I lean on his promises over my life I will be okay. Thanks for all the encouragement, prayers, love, and support throughout all o...

So far this year I've been focused on getting my life back on track for myself, my husband, my children, and my grandmother. I want our future to be better than our past. At this current moment we are dealing with preparing for my grandmother to have an above the knee amputation. I know she needs me to be strong for her and myself, but a part of me wants to ball up and cry because I am afraid for her. Will she survive the surgery? Will she be able to come home and do outpatient rehab or will she need to go to inpatient rehab? Will she recover from this? All of these questions are normal, but I can not let them stop me from telling her that "everything will be okay!" and "we'll get through this together!" because she needs the encouragement and support right now. I know that God will give us the strength we need to get through this difficult time. As each day passes new challenges can present themselves that may make you question if moving forward is even w...

When you have been living the majority of your life in brokenness you really don't know what it is to be whole. You may have glimpses of wholeness in different areas of your life, but have yet to find the way to connect all the whole pieces together. That's where I'm at in my life and I'm slowly working on fixing each area of my life so that I can completely overcome this brokenness and be whole. Don't get me wrong I am very thankful that I'm not where I was two months ago, but I know I'm only a couple of bad choices from being back there so I have to live each moment with purpose. The minute I start letting my guard down and living comfortably I'm liable to make some mistakes. Don't get me wrong I'm not looking for perfection, but I am looking for enough progression to trust that I won't go backwards in certain areas in my life. For example with my health and fitness goals...there was a time when I was not comfortable sneaking candy bars w...

In life when you're trying to overcome brokenness it is very easy to allow moments of goodness to cause you to let your guard down. For instance tax season...you have your return and all of these plans that can get you back on track financially. Initially you are doing good; you've paid bill after bill after bill and it feels good so you break your budget and treat yourself to a thing or two...suddenly those not so high on the list financial goals become less important. You start to reason why it's okay because you paid all of the main bills...you let your guard down. Just like when you're trying to leave someone alone. You finally find the courage to pull back, but as soon as the person seems to be getting it you let your guard down and end up right back where you were before. I've said all of this to remind myself and whoever else may need to hear this don't let your guard down when you're overcoming brokenness it will set you back!!!

Coming in to 2018 I didn't have any specific goals. I just knew I needed to start living my life better than I had been. It was time to move on from the fire and let go of the hurt feelings I had towards the people that weren't there for me in my time of need. It was time to stop making excuses for not living up to my full potential. It was time to stop living in my brokenness and overcome my issues like I have done so many times in the past. It was time to try to heal my brokenness . This past weekend I took some major steps towards helping myself emotionally. I talked to my husband about what I felt we needed to change to save our marriage. I didn't focus on what I wanted from him because I focused more on what I wasn't giving him and what I needed to fix. I've learned over the years that playing the blame game does more harm than good and 90% of the time if you work on you the people around you will begin to work on them or remove themselves from your life. I r...

12 years ago I was at a vulnerable time in my life and was blessed to meet my husband and best friend. We were both coming from bad breakups and trying to figure out how to trust and love again. We started out as friends...honest and blunt about what we had been through and not looking to be in a relationship anytime soon...or so we thought because 9 months later we were getting married. Something drew us together despite neither one of us knowing what we were really getting ourselves in to. He has loved me through my brokenness and continues to love me at times when I don't feel like I can love myself. We have been through so many things that were designed to tear the strongest couples apart, but we are still standing strong. I love my husband with all my heart and would rather continue to grow with him then to start over with someone else. I pray everyday for God to show me how to be the wife my husband needs so that he may be the husband I need. Don't get me wrong there a...

There are times in life when your path to your goals will be tested by tragedy, negative people, unforeseen circumstances, and whatever else life may throw your way, but you have to stay focused on your goals no matter what. I am dealing with one of those times right now and I know it's God testing me to see if I can be a woman of my word. He wants to know that I can live by the same advice I give my children, my friends, and many others who are in various places in their lives and I can honestly say that I can stay focused on my goals despite this obstacle I am currently being faced with. I am in control of my destiny and I will not let anyone else make my decisions for me. I will continue to hold my head high and keep working towards the goals that I have set for myself and my family!