Healing my brokenness

So far this year I've been focused on getting my life back on track for myself, my husband, my children, and my grandmother. I want our future to be better than our past. At this current moment we are dealing with preparing for my grandmother to have an above the knee amputation. I know she needs me to be strong for her and myself, but a part of me wants to ball up and cry because I am afraid for her. Will she survive the surgery? Will she be able to come home and do outpatient rehab or will she need to go to inpatient rehab? Will she recover from this? All of these questions are normal, but I can not let them stop me from telling her that "everything will be okay!" and "we'll get through this together!" because she needs the encouragement and support right now. I know that God will give us the strength we need to get through this difficult time. As each day passes new challenges can present themselves that may make you question if moving forward is even w

When you have been living the majority of your life in brokenness you really don't know what it is to be whole. You may have glimpses of wholeness in different areas of your life, but have yet to find the way to connect all the whole pieces together. That's where I'm at in my life and I'm slowly working on fixing each area of my life so that I can completely overcome this brokenness and be whole. Don't get me wrong I am very thankful that I'm not where I was two months ago, but I know I'm only a couple of bad choices from being back there so I have to live each moment with purpose. The minute I start letting my guard down and living comfortably I'm liable to make some mistakes. Don't get me wrong I'm not looking for perfection, but I am looking for enough progression to trust that I won't go backwards in certain areas in my life. For example with my health and fitness goals...there was a time when I was not comfortable sneaking candy bars w