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Rebuild and Restore:Trusting the Process

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This season of my life is my winter...I am shedding the old while God is creating the new within me! The journey to restoration is not always pretty because in order to fully bloom in Spring everything must die and fall off so that there is room for the new buds to grow. Asking God to take control of your life and giving him full access to your mind, body, and spirit and is like planting a seed and waiting for the flowers to grow. While the seed is being nourished and fed with water, soil, and sunlight the shell has to crack and break open to fully receive the nutrients. This is where the magic really happens because as the roots begin to emerge from the broken seed and plant themselves deep in the ground the flower is claiming it's place in the soil. Imagine if you dug it up while all of this was happening...you could possibly mistake the broken seed as no good and give up on your flower before it has a chance to show you how beautiful it can grow to be. For this reason you have t
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Getting right with God

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I haven't posted in a while, but I've still been putting my broken pieces back together. In addition to rebuilding my marriage with God as the third strand I've been including God in every aspect of my life! Building an intimate relationship with God has been amazing. I've wanted to get baptized since I was a teenager, but I've always been afraid to go through with it. Back in April of this year I finally went through with it and then I abruptly stopped going to church. There was no real reason behind it; just excuses I used to rationalize my failure to commit to attending church regularly. Thankfully that changed in August when I made a vow to God to not only attend church regularly, but to attend Bible Study and study the Bible at home daily. One of the first thing I learned when I started going back to church was that being baptized invited The Holy Spirit to come into my life as my comforter! Having the comfort of The Holy Spirit makes getting through difficult
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Rollercoaster Marriage

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"I'm done", "It's over", "I can't do this anymore", and "I give up" are all phrases that I've said and/or heard a few times over the past thirteen years. To be honest with you guys some of those words were spoken within the past month, but when you vow to be with someone forever you have to know that there will be bad times.  Especially when you get married before really getting to know one another. For those of you that don't know my husband and myself chose to get married after only nine months of knowing one another at the young ages of 26 and 21 years old. I was already a single mother of a one year old and my husband was coming out of a divorce so the odds were stacked against us to say the least. We have dealt with financial issues, insecurities, infidelities, health issues, family issues, and a variety of other issues over the years, but we always manage to come out of things together fighting for our marriage and ho
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Happily ever after or so I thought....

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After almost 13 years of marriage I found myself living the life of a single mother to three children about three weeks ago. That first week was hard because not only did I have my children to care for I also take care of my 74 year old immobile grandmother who goes to dialysis three times a week. I was an emotional wreck...my feelings ranged from anger, anxiety, bitterness, happiness, and depression, but I remained strong for the people depending on me! Things were hectic in my household to say the least, but we all survived and my kids were ready for their first day of school the following Monday! My husband was over the road, my marriage was in the worst place it's ever been, and I was ready to completely let go, but God starting talking to me and my vows kept going through my head so I decided that if my husband was willing to put God first than maybe our marriage could in fact be saved. Now we have a ways to go, but we're taking things one day at a time!
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My kids saved my life!

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On today and many other days I thank God for my children and my ability to put their needs before my feelings! Struggling with depression is hard and I can honestly understand why some people feel that suicide is the best treatment, but no matter how hopeless I feel I push through for my children. I know how I am feeling is temporary, but the pain that is felt from losing your mom is permanent and I never want to put that pain on my children. To all the mothers out here struggling with depression and other mental illnesses know that your kids need you. Even at your worst you're still their superwoman!
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Keep going....

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When walking in my truth becomes too much to bear I have to remind myself to keep going. As long as I allow the pain I feel when reopening infected wounds cause me to stop digging I'll forever be infected. Infected by negative self talk, insecurities, doubt, and years of feeling like I'm just not good enough and that's not the life I want to continue to live. I want to be fully healed and in order to do that I must keep going!
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We're more than a number!

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Many of you know I have been on my health and fitness journey for almost 10 years now. For the first 7 years of my journey I tried every diet out there. I would lose a little weight and gain double that amount back. Needless to say by 2016 my life was controlled by whatever number was on the scale. That is when I decided it was time to stop dieting and start making lifestyle changes. This morning when I weighed myself I was overcome with emotions because I honestly don't care what the scale reads anymore. Here's the post I shared on my health and fitness IG page: When you're fighting to lose weight this number right here can define how your day, week, or month will go IF YOU LET IT!  Living a healthy lifestyle is not about that number at all. It's about how you feel each day. How your clothes fit. What progress you've made. As your body changes you will see the number on the scale fluctuate based on what you eat, what you drink, your hormones, the time of day,
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